This is something that happens to me often. A bit too often, if you ask me.
For the past week, I haven’t been able to draw, so much so I couldn’t create a video for Youtube; which is something that bothers the hell out of me, since I made a goal for it. This sudden creative block came out of no where for me; I normally experiences these after a stressful even…Which hasn’t happened for a long while now.
So, what exactly is causing this art block…?
Perhaps it’s because of the – suddenly – high standards I’ve set upon myself? That could be the case; I’m always expecting myself to improve and grow with every drawing. And I haven’t really been seeing that improve in myself. That could be the cause of it —
Higher than normal expectations of myself.
One thing that could be it is my current work load; starting a new job in home-care, and also starting a client project could be the cause of it. I could be stressing myself out with work and self-imposed deadlines. The idea of needing to perfect my work and my own attitude in a work space.
Fear of growth.
It could also be the fact that I’m trying to force myself to create my comic/novel series; something I’ve been wanting to do since 2010. You know the deal; planning out a whole plot line, along with the characters, development, and plot twists along the way. That could be rather stressful for some – it sure as hell is for me. Everything needs to be perfect and exact; nothing needs to be off, or imperfect or even wrong.
The fear of not living up to oneself.
It could also be my general anxiety in of itself. I’m a rather panicky person – in fact, I’m positively NERVOUS around everyone, everything, and anything. That, in of itself, could be why I’m in an artist block and procrastinating hard on my personal projects…
I’m just scared.
One could also account on my seer laziness, but alas. Who knows.
I might as well be over thinking this all!
– Jesslyn “Marly” Buote